Since we’re about halfway through the month of May, I wanted to revisit the goals I set for myself at the beginning of the month so I can evaluate the progress I’ve made and see what I need to shift to better my chances of success. I had three main goals going into May: creating a consistent sleep schedule, prioritizing movement as many days as possible, and focusing on whole foods. As always, things popped up that I didn't expect and it has been difficult to make changes, but some progress has been made and I think that's important to acknowledge and celebrate.
The day that post went up, I didn’t get any intentional movement in or go to sleep at 10pm. But I had decided that my legs needed a rest day from walking and I stayed out late to support a friend at her show. Then that weekend I annihilated my sleep schedule with sleeping in, drinking too much coffee, and staying up late dancing at a party. But then Monday I got up and made myself breakfast and made sure to get my flax seeds in for my seed cycling. Speaking of which, what is the best way to eat flax seeds for seed cycling? I have ground flax seeds because I heard that’s what I should use, but I feel like this makes them harder to use than whole seeds. I also find myself accidentally eating the wrong seeds at the wrong time, so I think I’ll make myself a calendar for it. See? A small step in the right direction.
Anyway, then I went back to struggling with waking up in the morning, so in an attempt to fix this years-long problem I created a 7-day 6am wakeup challenge for myself. That lasted one day because the next day I woke up late, then it was the weekend and I didn't wake up early then either, and then by Sunday night I was sick and stayed home from work from Monday to Wednesday. Nonetheless, that was a pivotal moment for me because I know a big part of what made me sick was the damage I've done to my airways from smoking with asthma. So I decided to get back off the pen.
One more thing about sleep that I learned during this first half of the month is that evidently I should be taking my Lexapro about an hour and a half before rather than right before I go to sleep. This is because it takes a little bit for the medicine to kick in, so that drowsy effect doesn't start to hit until later, which messes with your body and can make it harder to wake up in the morning. So I'm changing my routine to take my medicine around 8-8:30pm instead of closer to 10-11pm like I usually do. Let's hope that helps.
I've been sort of binge eating at night again, which is obviously not ideal. I know my issue is that I'm not eating enough earlier in the day, but I'm not doing it on purpose, at least not fully consciously. One thing I really have been struggling with though has been appetite. A lot of the time nothing sounds good at all and I can't get myself to eat even though I'm hungry to the point of discomfort. I think I need to create a menu for myself so I can make sure I have enough solid options available for when I get stuck so I can eat more earlier in the day and safe myself the trouble at night. I will share what I come up with for the menu because I'm actually kind of excited to make that. :)
In terms of movement, I haven't done a whole lot, but I have gone a few times to the lake in town to walk the 3.3 mile trail around the perimeter and it has been a good way for me to get some movement while I've been to nervous to get back into the gym. Speaking of which, my plan is to get back in there this coming Monday. I don't have to do a lot of be there very long, but I want to get myself at least in the habit of going and doing something. I was looking at pictures of myself from when I was fit, and instead of feeling bad about myself like I usually do when I look at those pictures, I realized that was just over a year ago. It's not like I'm old and looking back on my body from decades before. It's only been about 14 months since the photo here on the side. I can build back to that! But only if I keep putting one foot in front of the other and pushing myself to do better every day.
Sooooo, with all of this in mind, here is the plan for the rest of the month of May. I'm aiming to wake up at 6am, but I really need to be out of bed by 7:30, which I did well at today. I'm going to create a menu of my favorite foods so I can refer to it when I get stuck and struggle to eat. I'm going to show up to the gym on Monday and do something. Something light and not too long. I just have to go and move and we will work up from there. Better things are ahead. :)
Bonus! Here is the menu I made for myself to use when I'm feeling stuck and can't eat. I hope this idea sounds interesting and could be helpful to someone else!
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