Here I am with my vanilla chai when I had lunch up in the hills with my mom on Saturday morning (which I don't even talk about in this piece because there's too much else to say, but we had a spectacular time sitting by the river and reading our books).
Here I am with another life update! Things have been a little crazy and all over the place this month, but things seem to be slowing down again and I am feeling much more energized and able to pour myself into my writing and this site. I am very excited to be back.
When I first started writing this piece, I was still in the thick of everything going on and I was writing from a very defeated and stressed headspace. Now that I’m on the other side of everything, I am able to look back more clearly on everything that was going on and lay it all out for you.
We’ll start with my hiatus. I took a little break during the first week of June. My goal during this break was to write like the wind and get myself into a position where I am at least one week ahead on all of my blog posts so I’m not always rushing at the very last minute to write, edit, and post. I did get to take some time to write, but not even close to as much as I had hoped, and I certainly did not reach my goal. That made things a little tough the next week. So last week I decided to reduce my posting frequency from two posts per week to just one, so only one post went up last Tuesday and nothing on Thursday. Now that things have slowed down for me, I’m planning to bump back up to two posts per week starting this week. I was worried that the reduction in frequency would be a longer term change, but I feel ready to go back to what I had originally envisioned for this site. I’m really glad to be feeling back on track.
One thing I was struggling with the past couple of weeks was my social calendar. I am someone who is pretty introverted, and I live in a fairly isolated location, so my typical level of social interaction is quite low. The past couple of weeks I felt that I really jam-packed my social schedule, and on top of work and appointments, it felt like too much for me.
One thing that I did was get a little carried away on Hinge. There was a week or so when I was texting four guys or so, which is not something I usually do. I typically stick to one at a time because I really can’t manage talking to too many people at once because I get overwhelmed and confused. There was one guy that I really liked, but he had to move back to North Carolina before we could meet and now we don’t text anymore. Oh well. Then there was another one who was really interested in me, and I him. We’ll call him “Mango” because when I went to meet him for the first time, I brought him chili mango and he gave me mango juice. Things had been going really well with him for a few days and nobody had ever treated me as sweetly as he was. But over time I felt that he had become too demanding of my time, and I was already feeling too overwhelmed with other things I had going on. I had to tell him that I felt we needed to take a step back from each other, and we have talked very sporadically since then. In the meantime, there was one more guy who we can call Rocky. I was supposed to have seen him last Sunday, but I was dealing with a lot of hormonal stuff (which I’ll get into below) so we rescheduled to Tuesday.
By that point, I was still feeling like I was going to only move forward with Mango, but I had already rescheduled with Rocky and told him that we would meet up at the mall. I figured I would just go and hang out for an hour or two and it would be fine and I’d move on from there. That night Rocky and I hung out for 5 hours and still didn’t want to leave each other when I had to go home after 10. I found out that he was going to be going back up north the coming Monday, but we knew we wanted to see each other again before then. The next day I texted him with options of when we could meet up, which included a free hour and a half I had that day, or the coming Saturday afternoon/evening. We met up for that hour and a half and he ran errands with me. He’s very chill and nonchalant, so I was worried he was bored doing those things with me, but he reassured me that he was not. When I had to leave, I said that I hoped it wouldn’t be the last time we saw each other, and he said “what about Saturday?” I didn’t realize that he wanted to see me BOTH of the days I had offered, but I was really excited that he did.
Here's a selfie I took before I met up with Rocky on Saturday night. I wish I had taken a picture of my outfit before I left the house. ;(
He likes to go out so he asked me what the night life was like here, but I don’t go out much, especially not here, so we decided we’d go scope it out together. Our plan was to just meet up downtown and wander around together, which sounded like a great plan to me. One thing about our area, though, is that things close really early, even on a Saturday night, so our options were pretty limited. As we were walking around, he noticed a place that had tabletop games available in the window, so we went in there. It was a brewery that I had heard of and it sounded interesting so we headed in. It was pretty relaxed there with some people but not very many, and they had some sports on the tvs. We ate and talked, and when the game corner got less busy, we played Battleship and chess. I won at Battleship, but he won at chess because I have no idea how to play, so for half of the game he was giving me a lot of pointers and the other half was me making completely random moves. I had a lot of fun though. We each only had one drink, but I’m a lightweight and on Lexapro so I was feeling a little buzz. We went walking downtown again, but there was almost nobody at every single bar we walked past, so we ended up just going to his car. I had one more bar idea, so we drove over there to see if it was a good spot, but the vibes were bad so we decided not to go in.
At some point he had mentioned stargazing, so we figured that would be the best thing to do, so we decided to head to the next town over to park at a well known hill to hang out and look at the stars and the city lights. Before we headed out there we switched to my car because we had an extremely awkward conversation about any additional intentions we had for going out to the hill and it seemed that we would be better off with a larger car, if you catch my drift. We headed out there and there were several other cars parked out there with people drinking and smoking and such, which I had heard people do there, but I’m not sure I had ever seen it before. We found a spot and looked at the city lights, talked about all kinds of things, and were astounded by how huge the moon looked. Then there were some “Twister adjacent” activities that occurred and it was about 2am by the time we headed back into town so I could bring him back to his car. I’m sad that he’s going back up north and that we don’t have more time together, but he said that if he’s back in town he will definitely let me know and I should do the same if/when I find myself back up in Sacramento. So that’s the whole boy rundown for now.
Another thing I did last week was go to one of our local minor league baseball team’s games with one of my best friends. It was an interesting game because their whole system was down so there were no microphones or scoreboards, so the game was a little chaotic, but funny to watch. My friend and I had a blast making jokes and laughing together during the game. Plus one of the guys on the other team threw a huge fit and everyone was yelling at him for screaming in the umpire’s face and being a terrible sport. He got kicked out of the game. It was such a good time, though, and we want to go to more games this summer.
The other big update I have about the last couple of weeks is about my hormones and my menstrual cycle, which I briefly mentioned above. I finally got my period again on Saturday, June 8th. This is the second period I have had in the past six months since I quit taking hormonal birth control. I could tell it was coming soon because I was having the same symptoms in the week or so before it started as I did last time I got my period: irritability, headaches, and breakouts on my face being some of the most noticeable ones. That Saturday I had a really productive and happy day before I started my period in the afternoon, and actually the rest of my evening was pretty pleasant as well. I really was only spotting at that point, so I knew it was really Sunday and Monday that would be the toughest, and I was right. Sunday I had plans to go kayaking with my mom and see Rocky later in the afternoon, but I was such an emotional wreck and couldn’t pull myself together, so I told Rocky how I was feeling and he was so understanding and we changed our plans. The rest of my period was pretty standard for me, but I finally made an appointment with my primary care physician for the end of this month to talk about my hormonal imbalance and find out what my options are other than hormonal birth control. I will keep you posted on what I learn.
So that's only the past week and a half or so, and that's not even everything. But that's where I'll leave it because I think those are the most notable things. I think this is actually my longest post ever, so that's telling of how much I had on going on.
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